I AM A MILLENIAL ... KIND OF

I am a millennial, kind of. I’m technically Generation Z. I have a strange admiration for avocado on toast, I own a fidget spinner and therefore, I must be a millennial. I’ve been brought up with the knowledge that I will never own my own property, I will have to have endless unpaid internships and I’ll probably live with my parents well into my late 20’s – if I’m lucky.

To top it all off, anxiety levels are at an all-time high, the financial situation is, for want of a better word, fucked and we have a Prime Minister that, for some unknown reason, decided to shimmy across stage dancing to ABBA. To make matters worse the world has decided it’s all our fault.

If you throw out the word ‘millennial’ to anyone above the age of 40, ‘lazy and entitled’ is usually what is thrown back in your face. It’s become almost a fun intergenerational game of ping pong. We are the first generation to end up poorer than our parents. Fact. End of story. However, there’s more to that than meets the eye.

Let’s play a little game of generational role play because let’s face it, slagging off a millennial is almost a wet dream for a baby boomer.

‘They are all screen addicts’

‘They are the snowflake generation’

‘They can’t right cursive’

‘They have killed the diamond industry, not to mention mayonnaise’

I mean mayonnaise. Philadelphia magazine actually wrote an article on how we had killed mayonnaise! LOL, ROFL, LMFAO ... FML

Let’s go back for a second. Are we all addicted to our screens? The average millennial checks their phone around 150 times a day and I am guilty of that. But who cares? I am in a committed relationship with my phone. It’s there when I go to bed, it’s there when I wake up and it’s easier to turn on then anyone I’ve ever been with. Relationship status aside, our phones are making us more clued up and information savvy than any other previous generation. All the knowledge in the world is at our fingertips and it’s enhancing every aspect of our day to day lives. For example, when a teacher at school would ask me to look up a word in the dictionary, this was a panic. I could not possibly remember the order of the alphabet without bursting into full song. As you can imagine, this is quite embarrassing, especially in an A level English class. A quick google and my red face was averted. I admit this might not be the best way to describe how technology has revolutionised our lives, but it certainly shows how far we’ve come.

Take Alan Turing for example; he was one of the first people to invent the computer. I’m sure if he knew that we’d all be running around hopelessly playing Pokémon Go, he’d poke his eyes out. But if he knew that the giant thing he created could fit into our pockets and give us infinite knowledge, he’d probably say something like ‘fucking use the thing’. I don’t know for sure. It’s just a guess.

My point is, so what if a millennial checks their phone roughly around 150 times a day. We have created a generation of people who are quick witted, information savvy, and most affluent communicators. We are in-tune with our emotions and we know how to truly get a point across. Some people think we can be too cut throat, but while you worry that we rely too much on technology Grandad, I’ll just check your life support machine.

When we do have a spare moment away from technology, apparently we can now play Millennial Monopoly. What happens? Do you just go round the board paying rent, not buying anything! Crying or laughing who knows? Go on to the twitter sphere and you can bury yourself away in memes until you’ve forgotten what the real world is like. Promise you it’s quite funny. You can find amusing anecdotes. Memes that read ‘kids these days have it too easy’ said the generation that could buy a house on unskilled work at the age of 21 or ‘if I had a pound for every time a baby boomer complained about our generation, I’d have enough money to buy a house in the market they ruined’. Quite funny right? Quite fucking depressing. It will be fine though don't worry because we'll all be living in old storage containers. This admittedly does look quite cool when the fancy glass sliding door is put in place. If you take a step back however and think about it, you’re living in a storage container. That’s some Black Mirror shit bro. The millennial has come to terms with this. Our life is becoming one giant episode of Black Mirror. People in China are actually rating people in real life, robot dogs are popping up all over the place and David Cameron allegedly engaged in sexual activity with a pig for Christ’s sake. It may sound a bit doom and gloom but ‘it's not all that bad’!

Mental health is becoming a priority over physical health. Campaigning for change has never been easier. Inclusivity (at least in the UK) is at an all time high. We can travel to places our grandparents could only read about. We have more information than ever before and most importantly we have a want to use it. Plus there is a new Lion King coming out ... and Donald Glover, Seth Rogen AND Beyonce are all in it! I mean come on!!

The Snowflake argument! Remember this one?

‘You are not special. You’re not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else’. Huddled up underneath my duvet, post bedtime (obvs couldn’t stay away from a screen), I remember watching Brad Pitt say that iconic line and to tell you the truth, it stuck with me. It unfortunately stuck with every other politician in the world as well. We are now referred to as the ‘The Snowflake Generation’, it’s where people tell YOU, that you’re too easily offended by people's opinions - cheers for that one Brad, real kind.

Let me just refresh your memory for a second. We are still fighting for gay rights and we are still marching for equality. I often hear people remark ‘that it’s not all that bad’ or ‘you should have seen what is was like back in my day’. These kind of flippant remarks really makes me want to break apart my beautifully created ice structure and chuck it at them. We are a generation that has grown up with The President of the United States of America, arguably the most powerful man in the world, remark that he wants to ‘grab her by the pussy’. Don’t worry though it's just 'locker room talk’.

I am angry. I have the right to be angry, we all have the right to be angry. “If you're not angry, you're not listening” right? I am also proud, however. I am proud to be part of a generation that is, excuse the millennialism, #WOKE. We have created a conversation, we have got people talking. We are tired of elder generations making racist remarks that are dismissed because their generation ‘did things differently’ or they ‘don't quite understand’. We are no longer prepared to sit there and let that slide. Because let me tell you, we are from a different generation and we understand. You my friend, need an education. You need to WOKE the fuck up.

Stay #WOKE folks, we have a duty to educate.